Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is tasked with escorting a pair of children who are more than they appear is this Disney remake. This probably won’t be the last time we see Johnson drive children in a film. It’s by my count the fourth major release this year to be a retread of some kind. Taking its target demographic into consideration, it’s not all bad.
The story kicks off with a spacecraft crashing in the desert. Our government then scrambles a team to recover the finding. These guys seem to have cameras everywhere and equipment to correctly guess the identities of the occupants who have made a break for it. Shortly thereafter, the intergalactic children make their way into the cab of Jack Bruno (Dwayne Johnson). Jack is a reformed convict trying to play by the rules, and when presented with a wad of cash, he drives the kids wherever they want. It just so happens they are on Earth for a mission vital to the well-being of their planet and ours; while standing in their way is a nefarious space assassin and relatively local law enforcement.
The silver screen has cast a ray of light on the life of “The Rock”. He has a charm that is readily apparent and this undoubtedly is why he is the go-to guy for the kid buddy flick. Producers must find him perfect for odd coupling but he is becoming increasingly confined to this genre which can be seen as a waste of the man who Mr. Schwarzenegger passed the torch to in 2003’s The Rundown. It stands to reason that the juxtaposition of paring children with him can only work if the audience is bombarded with machismo. His imposing figure is under much guise in Race to Witch Mountain and in a manner that is counterproductive. Actually, there are several men appearing in the film who appear for more daunting.
There aren’t too many characters appearing through the film. Sara (AnnaSophia Robb) and Seth (Alexander Ludwig) each have unique powers. Between the two, they are quite indestructible and Jack’s assistance seems only necessary to sell tickets. The alien duo could have been reduced to one because Ludwig is not up to par performance wise. I did like some of the exchanges between the government suits, and Dr. Alex Friedman (Carla Gugino) makes sense for the sake of the narrative. Then there is a creature chasing our heroes, which is best described as Predator-Terminator. Maybe a little to intimidated for the youngest viewers.
I have to keep in mind that this a genre picture in which I’m not the audience, but hey I recall my childhood as well as anyone. Would I have been immensely entertained, probably not. It’s not a modern classic. I didn’t laugh out loud, I didn’t tear up, and I didn’t leave with a sense of pride. It’s even aesthetically by the numbers, though the computer effects are surprisingly strong. More than anything, what makes this an acceptable film is what direction it refuses to stray. The state of children films is at its all-time low. Remakes are aplenty and recycled gags and set-ups are the norm. I didn’t hear a toilet joke or any other painful dialogue. Outrageous situation eventually received a plausible explanation. Aside from a surprisingly large amount of firearms, Race to Witch Mountain is acceptable entertain for children and their parents. **½
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