G-Force is Disney’s latest attempt to throw in the cuteness of animals in the hopes of revenue. Its plot can be summed-up by a guess as to what was said at the meeting that spurred its creation, and I’ll wager that some exec said they needed Mission: Impossible with guinea pigs. It’s simply pandering to children by playing the cute card.
My obligation to give a synopsis begins and ends with this paragraph. Ben (Zach Galifianakis) has trained cuddly creatures, and some bugs, to collect intelligence for the US government. He made them technology that allows them to talk to humans in perfect English, and is hoping that his superiors at the FBI will promote them to special agent status. Unfortunately, these superiors don’t see the glossy side and disband the team, forcing our heroes Darwin (Sam Rockwell), Blaster (Tracy Morgan), Juarez (Penélope Cruz), and Speckles (Nicolas Cage) to redeem themselves.
I respect “the talent” for doing something creative with their voices. In fact, Nicolas Cage’s voice is so well disguised that I had no idea who he was portraying until the end credits. Another pleasing aspect is the visuals. Director Hoyt Yeatman has a background in visual effects with a resume including high marks E.T. and Blade Runner. CGI work is seamless when paired with the 3-D glasses, which make it the most visibly pleasing third dimensional experience of the year.
G-Force certainly doesn’t take itself seriously. Dialogue is nothing more than comic relief, and that’s a poor term for it because it isn’t funny. The rest of the film is one action spectacle after another. There is even an attempt to usher in a twist that makes zero sense, and forces a conclusion by the FBI that holds no ground.
It’s not impossible to make a good children’s film. I’ll give G-Force the benefit of the doubt on its plausibility, since the construction of such a team would serve some real world benefit. Elaborating on the how would have benefited the action. As it’s presented there is little respectability leading to non-stop action with a less than satisfactory conclusion. When studios assume that kids are stupid: everyone loses. There is little other than a soon to be forgotten experience, and perhaps that’s a hallmark for children’s films since the kids won’t be traumatized but rather temporarily pleased. Too bad there is no discernable emotional level to entice enlightening conversation. **
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