I had been warning people about August, and now the garbage synonymous with this month is starting to pile on. How else do you explain a movie named for a fall holiday that hits theatres two months prior to its namesake? Halloween II is the sequel to the Rob Zombie revision of the 1978 original. I’ll admit at this point that I have not seen the 2007 film. There are any number of good reasons, but I’d like to point out that remakes of quality films are less than enticing to me. It strikes me that the only direction to go is down, and that’s why I didn’t bother back before I was doing this full-time.
The story is shockingly simplistic. There is a killer on the loose named Michael Myers (Tyler Mane). He wants to kill Laurie Strode (Scout Taylor-Compton), as evidentially he didn’t finish the job during the last bout. Meanwhile, his former shrink (Malcolm McDowell) is out and about relishing his 15 minutes; and no one less than entrenched with the original series, plus the ’07 flick, will give two cents.
If that doesn’t sound compelling enough, our giant killer sees visions of his mother and a horse. I suppose that’s meant to bring insight, but it play out more like a poorly crafted art film. Speaking of craft, this film lacks any. Over stylized isn’t even the correct term— that would hint at the competency to style. I couldn’t get a good look at anything interesting. I didn’t hear any quotable lines. The acting universally discredits itself, almost as much as the script. I give the edge to the screenplay since it calls for people to approach others, at a time of crisis, without explaining a situation. I could have done a better job looking for plot holes, but I found Michael’s uncanny detective skills to suffice. Grasping at straws, it’s weird enough that most of the people seen in the film are going about living in 1978 with today’s technological advances. On last viewing, either Street Fighter film had a clear time period with which to exist.
When you take away all the aspects that make a film enjoyable, you get Halloween II. A trick that sure isn’t a treat. I couldn’t care for these manic characters or their situations. Michael doesn’t even inspire with an array of kills. It’s mostly stomping on faces with an occasional stab. I may someday soon regret typing this but here goes: I miss comic relief. There isn’t a joke in the film.
By the end of the movie, I was trying to find an excuse to like some arbitrary aspect. Usually I can point out that the sound was clear, at the very least. I couldn’t even give it that. Indeed, Halloween II fails to deliver the very basics in its attempt to do what I can’t even be sure of. I don’t like getting into spoilers, but I basically spent the last several paragraphs warning you of a hurricane, so at the very least I owe you this closing word of advice. SPOILERS, Hollywood knows you will keep paying for its rehashes; that’s the trick. *























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