Vaughn On Movies – The World's Toughest Movie Critic™

Armored concerns the exploits of a team of armored car drivers who aren’t shy about blurting out how each is related to one another. Cochrane’s (Matt Dillon) sister is married to Baines (Laurence Fishburne). Ty Hackett (Columbus Short) is the godson of Cochrane. Ty has recently returned from fighting in Iraq, (also something openly stated on several occasions) and his deceased parents’ house is about to be taken by the bank. In an effort to solve this problem Cochrane proposes to take the bank instead.

Armored gets off to a delightful start. He meet the guys and see that each appears to be a good fella. They could use a little more nuances to differentiate their personas, but what we find early on is that this is a movie devoid of estrogen. No one is getting sidetracked by some wife; these guys are robbing these trucks. As we all know is going to happen, it doesn’t run as planned and an act of violence causes Ty to become regretful. This is standard rookie-invited-to-bank-heist fare, but it’s still intriguing.

Our hero spends a lot of time isolated in an armored car while the others try to coax him out before the authorities arrive. This might be an original way to approach the conflict, but it sure does make for a small movie. There isn’t going to be a ton of chasing, investing, or revelations when all the action is confined to one location.

I can’t be the only person confused by several situations in this movie. First, why is Ty’s brother the world’s greatest graffiti artist? They’re having trouble paying for the house; put the kid to work with his spray cans and your problem is solved. Then we have two explosions that defy explanation. Firecrackers can’t go through glass without breaking it guys, and Ty isn’t a believable MacGyver substitute.

Armored isn’t visually amazing. It’s no surprise that these hulked up vans are capable of flipping over, or that bullets can make people bleed. The action is rooted to the soil, gritty, and real. Cinematography is equally understated, though this movie has the most browns of any in recent memory. Lifting the theatrical score from The Fast & The Furious wasn’t the best choice, but it’s dropped after a few minutes.

Just as I was getting into it, it was yanked out from underneath my feet. This is getting to be too often the case. Just shy of an hour and 30 minutes is nowhere to situate a film for grown-ups. Having an abrupt ending does it no favor either. The climatic finale might last all of 3 minutes. With this cast you would have hoped the actors would have a chance to work on their characters, but the dialog isn’t there. This is most unfortunate considering the talent that goes underused, notably Jean Reno who has a hollow role within striking distance of a career extra. Though some elements work for Armored, I couldn’t help but feel held up. **