Piracy has an upside. Thanks to all the DVD firestarters out there uploading their goods to the web, I can now not only tell you about the best cinimatic fight scenes, but actually show you (provided that no one gets upset over copyright infringement)! Unlike most “best” lists, I’m going to actually take a stab at supporting my argument. First, some rules:
1) A fight scene must be described as a fight – Basically you wouldn’t call a battle a fight. This isn’t to say that a fight can’t be between more than two people, but a mass of people warring over a planned assault is not a fight.
2) Judge the scene – It doesn’t matter if the actor or actress can actually do this stuff, what matters is how well the scene as a whole is executed.
3) Weapons are optional – You can fight with fists, you can fight with swords. You don’t however fight by pushing a button. This is much like my thoughts on NASCAR, how is sitting down be a sport?
4) Doesn’t have to be between people – Creatures and robots can fight. If CGI and puppetry can make for a believable fight, then it counts. Much like the third rule, most vehicles are going to be off limits.
5) No bonus points for a kill – A good fighter doesn’t have to take his victim’s life, nor does he have to spare it. Just because someone fought and killed a number of enemies in one fight doesn’t bestow extra points; the fallen could have been only fodder.
Behold, the best fight scenes of all time, ever.
#3 The Warriors vs The Punks (The Bathroom Fight)
The Warriors (1979)
Being framed for killing NYC’s ganglord, our heroes have had a rough night trying to escape every other gang in the city. The Punks may not be the toughest challenge, but the scene itself is a blast. With The Warrior’s trapped in a subway bathroom, the ruthless rivals enter in hope of a rumble. The tension builds appropriately, right up to the point that The Warriors jump out of the stalls and into a no holds barred cacophony of chaos. Hard surfaces shatter left and right as bodies are tossed with no regard for human life. Punches, kicks, and chokes all look painful and the spinning effect between cuts gives the illusion that there was so much awesomeness that the director couldn’t decide what to focus on.
#2 Ripley vs The Queen
Aliens (1986)
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At the end of Aliens all appears safe. We’ve had a lot of action and it’s a good time to cool down with a little hypersleep (ironic name for it) in our galaxy cruising ship. But danger await as a queen alien has snuck aboard. This giant creature has a set of mouths that could scare a T. rex and a barbed tail longer than your first house. Having cornered Newt, Ripley draws the queen into a duel to the death by using a power loader exoskeleton suit. I’m going to allow this since the queen isn’t sitting behind the stick of a F-14 Tomcat. Actually the suit accentuates the natural movements of Ripley’s muscles while also leaving her in danger. Back and forth they go until the airlock is opened, which ups the suspense as now the humans have to deal with getting sucked out of a spaceship. Excellent music and practical effects at their finest push this one over the edge.
And the best fight scene of all time is…
#1 The Bride vs Gogo Yubari
Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003)
Many will disagree about the significance of this conflict since immediately afterward The Bride fights and defeats 88 men. Gogo is but a hench-school girl, however her reputation precedes her. She’s obviously of a high value as a fighter since her defeat leaves crime boss O-Rin Ishii no choice but to dispense the the rest of her forces. Beyond the narrative, there are mild sight gags, throwback sound effects, and the overall sense that this could possibly happen because the action only teeters on the humorous. The meteor hammer vs katana makes for interesting juxtaposition and necessitates a more cerebral approach. The Bride must be patient, there’s no room for rapid clanging about. Her sword is ultimately discarded and she must resort to her surroundings, and I’ll take that over 88 easy background character sword kills any day.
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