A game filled with short offensive plays, and no game breaker defensive takeaways. That’s what the New England Patriots and New York Giants gave us in Super Bowl XVI. Well… it was more exciting than that. In the least it was more exciting than the commercials, which snidely hipsters claim to watch in spite of the game.
The Best
#3 Chrsler – It’s Halftime in America
Car commercials that don’t feature driving can only be so interesting. The punch of this ad comes from Clint Eastwood trying to guilt trip me into buying non-performance cars as Chryslers new SRT division isn’t represented. Still, it’s pretty. There’s some talk that it wasn’t filmed in Detroit. Stock footage of Detroit was used, but nothing new to fuel the city’s economy the way the ad begs of the viewers.
#2 Coca-Cola – The Polar Bear Trifecta
The honest truth is that if there is a product in America that needs no advertising, it’s Coca-Cola. We’ve all tasted, and most of us have an addiction. The three ads from Coca-Cola deserve some recognition for being the only self-aware commercials during the broadcast. Two CGI polar bears are enjoying the game and behaving much like those of us at home.
#1 Audi – Vampire Party
The driver of an Audi is taking drinks (O+ blood) to a party in the forest. I enjoy the use of the song “The Killing Moon” by Echo & the Bunnymen—more on why that works later. The vampires spotted racing up tree is a dig at Twilight, and we can all appreciate that. One of the most distinguishing features of today’s Audis are the LED eyeliners seen on the new models. Can they vanquish evil? Maybe not in the way this ad depicts them offing vampires, but at least it’s an actual feature of the cars.
The Worst
EVERYTHING
I don’t even want to hunt down the YouTube links to these atrocities.
Doritos – Man’s Best Friend
There’s Doritos with their continued efforts to use fan made propaganda. The production value isn’t far behind the pros, a far cry from around 5 years ago when they started this concept, but writing is still pedestrian. Usually the ideas spring from someone stuck in a two decade old tribute to beer ads. That’s where this year’s slingshot baby comes in. I’ve heard praise for the hush money dog but I didn’t even understand what the ad was saying; a dog able to employ Doritos as a bribe should know better than to inter a cat at home or in the least evidence, and if Doritos are so wonderful he’d want to eat them himself.
Acura – Transactions
Acura: Because boring now comes with a guillotine grill. Believe it or not, Honda used to build some exciting cars. At the moment their performance car is called the Civic Si. In the ‘90s the NSX propelled Ferrari to step their game up. Offering world class performance, unheard of reliability, and looks to die for, the NSX was sweet. In some effort to rekindle this Honda is reintroducing a new NSX. It’s ugly as sin, most certainly won’t keep up with rivals like the world beater Nissan GT-R, and they have enlisted Porschephile Jerry Sienfeld to shill for it. Seen in the ad, Jerry tries to pursued the first in line for his spot so he can have the first NSX. After some outlandish effects, and a reference to his sitcom, Jay Leno jumps in to steal the thunder. How appropriate.
TaxACT – Free to Pee
Something about a kid wanting not to pee in a pool only to pee in a pool. /facepalm
GoDaddy – .co and the Pussycat Dolls
Not sure why I need a .co or what relevance a new Pussycat Dolls lineup has to any of this.
M&M – Just My Shell
Using a vintage song (as Audi did) doesn’t make a music choice as dated as riding a song from last summer into February.
Honda – Matthew’s Day Off
Honda recognized the greatness of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off by jacking up right, making star Matthew Broderick relive the experience of playing hookey with a CR-V. Splatters of shame from wall to wall as the ad nods to a movie from 1986. Obviously this took so long to come to fruition because John Hughes was blocking it.
Take solace in knowing that anything I haven’t taken the time to hunt down is just as awful. Time and again I’m amazed at how innovative commercials can be compared to the films shown in theatres, but when the ad spots cost $3 million for 30 seconds the agencies play it safe by trying to appeal to the idiot that wants to see a moonwalking dog.
Loading ...
Recent Comments