Chronicle combines two things that when separate are more than enough to do in a typical film: teens with superpowers, and teen cameramen.

Soon-to-be class president Steve (Michael B. Jordan), metaphysicist Matt (Alex Russell) and loaner Andrew (Dane DeHaan) encounter a hole in the woods. Provoked by their curiosity, they climb inside to find a source of great power. Next thing they know they have telekinetic powers, which they can put to use performing pranks, that is until someone gets hurt.

The visuals of Chronicle would have been Oscar worthy roughly ten years ago. Today, we see this stuff every commercial break. If you recall in The Matrix (1999) the famously bent spoon wasn’t a spoon. It didn’t take a philosopher like Keanu to point this out—that spoon was a computer rendering. Most objects manipulated by the students in Chronicle are entirely CGI. Be it a baseball suspended in air, a spider floating with its legs splayed out, or stuffed toys hurled at a cart, you’re looking at post-production programming.

Chronicle sticks to a falsified found footage aesthetic. Every shot comes from the point of view of a diegetic camera. As someone who spends more time—than I very obviously should—creating video, the inaccuracy of the presentation is frustrating. Chronicle is far too pretty to have been shot on the consumer cameras the characters of the film use. Even more radical is the improvement over the built-in microphones these cameras have, and background chatter is selective.

When a filmmaker sets out to tell a story with such a restricted device, a host of dilemmas present themselves. Traditionally the issue of camera placement doesn’t fall on the characters. In the case of Chronicle the powers actually aid in telling the story. Being able to levitate the camera helps get more coherent shots than Cloverfield. It is odd how one day Andrew simply decided to record his boring life, expressing zero ambition or purpose. Overall first time director Josh Trank surprised me with how effectively the story is told. There’s even the bonus of a subtext in which their powers are metaphors for substance abuse. The high is all too obvious.

I liked some of these characters, particularly Steve, so it’s too bad the thinking portion of their brains weren’t enhanced. How else are we to account for someone with extraordinary skills putting them to use by robbing a convenience store and taping the process no less? Do banks not exist in Seattle? What about TV exposure?

Chronicle blends a couple of novel thoughts, pairing the documentation with the teenage superpowers compliments each other when alone they would each likely fail. Chronicle is short of groundbreaking, but plenty entertaining and deceptively smarter than advertised. ***

Set in 1960s Mississippi, a friendly group of white housewives mull the arduous life of watching their black hired help raise their children. Skeeter (Emma Stone) is magically wise beyond her generation. This is because she comes from present day and has her time machine disguised as a Cadillac. I picked up on this through her rejection of men, work ethic, and embodiment of every quality deemed politically correct. After getting a job at the local paper where the reference from a woman named Stein is scoffed at as some northern Jew, Skeeter takes on the domestic advice column. Mortified over how her old pals belittle their assistants, Skeeter teams with Aibileen (Viola Davis) to write her domestic column and later a tell-all book from their perspective.

The central protagonist is Skeeter, a girl whose ugly duckling outsider view makes her capable of aligning with the help.  The blatant effort put into her holier-than-thou character also makes her the least interesting in the film. On the other side of the spectrum are Aibileen and Minny, the first two housekeepers to sign on to Skeeter’s scandalous idea. These are realistic women with dynamic attitudes, easy to please the boss, but fussy at home or whenever the opportunity arises. They’re competent, witty, have pasts that haunt them, but this is the story of a privileged white girl leading the way in the fight for equality.

As odd as it sounds there is another white girl on the outside of the southern lifestyle. Celia Foote (Jessica Chastain) is a little ditzy, but her lack of familiarity with the culture gives her more credence in a less preachy package. On hiring Minny, Celia is unaware of the traditions. She actually begs her to come in late, leave early, and sits with her to eat. It’s a far cry from the outlandish spectacle put on by Hilly Holbrook (Bryce Dallas Howard), the film’s designated ultra biotch.

I can’t help but think of how much better The Help would have been had it focused on the title characters. Even a fish out of water like Celia makes for a more pleasant character than what we’re given. If only Celia motivated Aibileen and Minny to write their own book, now that’d be an easier pill to swallow than the forced spoonful. As a human being, I see the paradox of a film that has a narrative championing equality through a counterintuitive device.

After wall-to-wall morality, some compelling events and performances shine through. It’s too bad that by then my eyes were sore from rolling. The Help isn’t great cinema. It’s largely an outdated message—can’t see there being that many in the 1% who need a lesson on how to treat minority labor in 2011, might as well give us a film on Vikings learning not to pillage—coupled with surefire devices presented to appeal toward the largest demographic. **½

Liam Neeson may be the oldest white actor capable of playing the tough guy without being the old tough guy. Throughout The Grey he does what he can to lead plane crash survivors through the frozen tundra of Alaska, and no one questions his age.

Director Joe Carnahan takes the audience into a bleak lifestyle amid the Alaskan pipeline. Ottway (Neeson) makes it through with flashbacks of his wife and a chilling voice over. The crash is shown from within the plane and avoids many of the common theatrics. No one is clearly shown being sucked out. For that matter most of the visual effects cast a less than ideal lighting circumstance, which drives home the motif.

Injuries, freezing winds, and a lack of food are enough foes for any survivors, but our heroes are being pursued by wolfs. I’m not suggesting that it’s impossible, but the behavior of these creatures puts on quite the show. They’ve certainly seen Halloween. Credulity is also being pushed to limits when the standards line such as “who made you the leader” have to be muttered and one hothead fancies a brawl. Of course Neeson’s dominance of the narrative makes him a safe bet, and his buddies a risk.

As the film wears on I wanted to buy these blokes more time. Despite how simple the premise I’m sure I could have been entertained for 3 hours. Maybe if the other guys had more spotlight scenes they wouldn’t feel so much like Ottway’s human shields.

The story is simple enough that a big reveal at the end is somehow more effective for the sake that no one was waiting for it. This isn’t mystery. What The Grey manages to do with the unexplored is leave the viewer with less question and more statements.

The Grey is a man’s movie. Fatigue and despair translate with the same forceful impact of the physical blows the survivors endure. It’s also a perfect example as to why one should wait for the monk’s reward at the end of the credits. ***½

The Show

Last year saw what in all likelihood will be known as the low point in production quality for the Oscars. Hosts James Franco and Anne Hathaway will called up to inject some youth into this stuffy tux fest. Inebriated Franco couldn’t maintain interest, and cheerleader Hathaway was forced to overcompensate. In short it was appalling. One of my favorite hosts is returning for this year’s 4-hour contest of envelope opening. I’ll give Billy Crystal the benefit of the doubt. Let’s say he does an amazing job, which wouldn’t be out of the norm for Billy. The viewers at home are still left with hours upon hours of melodrama. The results are already totaled, so drawing this out has become a matter of filling commercial slots. I’ve never produced an award show, so maybe I don’t know what I’m talking about on this bullet point.

The Nature of Awards

It wasn’t until recent years that I took enough stock in evaluating praise to really think this one through. Short of the Congressional Medal of Honor, I can’t find a way to justify an award ceremony. The stakes are unimportant, and the subject matter entirely subjective.

Impossible to Judge

Most A-list actors are of equal talent. There isn’t a clear way to identify whether one beat another when the perception of the performance is also a matter of writing, direction, editing, and in some cases makeup and visual effects.

There’s Always a Winner

The past decade was a dumping ground of bad movies being nominated for (let alone winning) the most coveted of honors within their community.  A look back at the ‘90s shows a far more competitive field. The Shawshank Redemption did not win Best Picture in March of 1995, but at the Internet Movie Database (IMDB.com) it is voted as the best movie of all time. That kind of makes you reconsider how excellence absolutely has to be recognized at a predetermined interval.

No Longer an Honor to be Nominated

Following complaints regarding the failure to nominate The Dark Knight for Best Picture in 2009, the field was expanded to allow for ten nominees. Let me say this again, as many as ten films can be nominated for Best Picture. This means droves of films are going to be marketed with the “Nominated for Best Picture” playing during their Blu-ray commercials. It’s nothing special to get nominated, in fact you have to work hard to avoid it.

The Vote

There is too much secrecy put into the voting system for the audience to believe in it. These are faceless people who are given the power to determine events that we are expected to accept. Of course if this was a popular vote by the people we would end up with a Harry Potter vs Twilight Oscars. I would however prefer that to the current system. There is no guarantee in either that those voting saw all the films nominated, or even enough to determine what should be nominated, but the American Idol philosophy would at least give me a say. That one vote is enough to compel from within ownership of the outcome.

Of all of these hard hitting facts the one which bothers me the most is how few within the industry are vocal on this matter. For all I care you can consider me as looking at the matter from outside the industry, what with my lack of income/job from reviewing, almost no readers/viewers, and geographically nonexistent location. There isn’t anyone to stop me from shouting distaste to the one person reading this, and for that I’m untouchable. What about the critic with the cushy desk job in New York City? Surely he can’t be pleased with the results every year. If only those at the epicenter of pop culture are deemed worthy of commentary, then there must be droves of these intellectuals who have caught on to this scheme. Why I’d wager each of these brilliant tacticians of white collar cronyism have a witty retort shelved, saving it for the day their paper goes under and Hollywood cares not of their opinions.

The kick-butt female action flick is the only way action junkies can get a fix away from the Redbox renegades and whatever Jason Statham has been up to. There’s just something more PC about a girl crunching bones in the 2010’s, in the least there’s something marketable. When I was a kid, anything with a female protagonist was by default for girls. Might as well paint her guns barrels pink and slap a Hello Kitty decal on the boots.

Obviously something has changed when two female led actionfests (Underworld: Awakening, Haywire) can open nationwide on the same weekend. A quick look at the two films shows that the leads couldn’t be more different. Underworld: Awakening has classical beauty Kate Beckinsale doing, with the aid of computers, the maneuvers that Haywire star Gina Carano has mastered in MMA sporting events.

Haywire takes a very played out story about betrayal and interjects the newfound feminist biological weapon. Mallory Kane (Carano) is on the run. She’s been setup and I probably shouldn’t say much more about it. Unfortunately I can confirm that there isn’t a sound reason beyond jealousy for her to be in this position.

Director Steven Soderbergh has a habit of taking non-actors and placing them at the front of his work. Carano is his latest find. She does well with her lines, but I can’t help to think exchanges were simplified for her benefit. There isn’t an effort to coax a performance out of her as she’s set on maintaining indifference. What she does bring to the table is a multitude of cool looking moves. Springboarding off a wall for kick and twisting through the air with a punch sure look sweet and go a long way in making something out of this nothing.

As for the filmmaking techniques on hand, Haywire is descriptive Soderbergh. For the heck of it, there is a Quincy Jones inspired score that overrides action scenes. I’ve never seen a movie have as tough of a time picking a look and going with it. A few outdoor scenes are desaturated, indoor oversaturated, natural lighting at the end… it’s like these are scenes lifted from other movies then pasted together.

Haywire packs some punches—in a carry-on. Cool fisticuffs here and there, some interesting takes on stunt driving, but the story doesn’t hold it all together. Hopefully Carano can develop into an actress, but this isn’t a star-making turn. **

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy is the exact opposite of Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol. There aren’t any stunts and the protagonist acts his age. This is an old school, plausible tale of espionage. I don’t even recall the Tom Cruise of this movie running.

George Smiley (Gary Oldman) is a recently retired British intelligence expert called back into duty to expose a double agent at the top of MI6. Some of the work has been done for him by his former boss Control (John Hurt). With the field narrowed to five individuals, Smiley gathers information to determine who is giving information to the Russians.

The paranoia within the circus is widespread. No two people can trust each other. A simple scene shows Peter (Benedict Cumberbatch) entering an elevator within the compound. The camera lingers on him and a sign that stresses the importance of closing the door after use so that others can call the elevator. Of course when Peter exits there is no thought of closing the door. It would have been traditional for a number of characters voice their concerns, so this far craftier conveyance deserves praise. But the story doesn’t end there. Subtext overpowers the actual narrative. There are so many moments of termite art that one can lose focus on the spy hunt.

Suspense isn’t all in the reveal; that’s something director Tomas Alfredson can’t seem to grasp. In Let the Right One In a vampire is created only to die at the moment of that realization. The payoff: a fiery effects death that removes what could have been a formidable character while adding a scene that has no impact on the story. In Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy there is a book full of characters thanks to John le Carré, a few too many for a concise film. Despite wonderful spotlight moments, few thrillers are this boring. Not to say that there’s a lack of action—which is true—but any plans of action are kept secret from the audience. What should be a climax is simply a scene leaving the audience with questions. It’s anticipation that builds suspense, not the resolve.

The film carries the aesthetics of Masterpiece Theatre. It’s hard not notice how some scenes are shot with an unacceptable amount of noise, which would have been fine had it been consistent. There’s no effort at spectacle whatsoever. Even the sluggish music sounds like it was culled from a bin of discounted tapes. The set decoration and costumes are true to the early ‘70s , offering the visual appeal for the movie.

Gary Oldman is believable and understated. Perfect for the role. I don’t want to get into who else does what as spoilers can be easily dropped. Let me say that the cast is effective.

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy leaves the viewer with a path to the correct interpretation. It’s not the easiest read, but it appears the story is sound. **½

#11 The Ides of March

The Ides of March was something of a letdown, and this highly shopped poster sums that up. Neither of these guys look quite like this in real lighting, but the concept of having Clooney on the Times cover is very slick. Immediately you know the roles of these actors.
 

#10 Another Earth

I never had the chance to see Another Earth, but this is beautiful photography of the talent. You could even argue that the independent budget put the stop to an overzealous graphic artist whippin’ up writer/star Brit Marling’s hair and cheeks.
 

#9 Super

Everything you could need in this poster. Goofy, oddball hipster flick with wannabe superhero.
 

#8 Being Elmo

The fewer colors the better in this case. There’s black, white, red, and a light orange. That’s all that’s needed to identify the famous Elmo from a distance. At the same time, this isn’t the safe image of the young puppet kids see on PBS. The high contrast lends toward adult appeal.
 

#7 Bad Teacher

Surely I’m not the only one who appreciates this poster. The typical desk and chalkboard give the immediate setting, the slouch and shades give the attitude. I even like the canted angle, and nice touch with the apple. Not too much going on, just enough.
 

#6 Sucker Punch

I was really looking forward to seeing Sucker Punch and the cool marketing was a big reason why. The trailer was action packed, and had a style reminiscent of the video game Bioshock which is also prevalent in this poster. In particular I like the swooping, oversized title. Big kudos for not making lead Emily Browning look pale as all get out.
 

#5 The Mechanic

An action movie with no kinetic sensation in the poster, get out! The Mechanic was one of the more action packed films of the year, but the simple poster is quite the antithesis. The image of a handgun assembled from armaments is easy to grasp and sticks with the viewer.
 

#4 The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1

Simply giving credit where it is due, people. The Twilight series has seen some drab posters filled with the silliest of fog and brown hues, but here’s one that gives it straight. No hint of a vampire story, that would almost be false advertising. This is strictly engaging the girls with a romantic embrace.
 

#3 Contagion

This poster is impressive for replicating the look of a biozard flyer. There’s so many stars that showing each face would be almost goofy… (cough)… New Year’s Eve… (cough)
 

#2 Drive

Drive is not the typical movie that makes its way into a wide release. It’s neo-noir, retro, and hyper violent. In the very least the poster conveys two of these characteristics. I’m afraid a violent poster would have been a turn off to the crowd that would actually appreciate this film, the anti-getaway movie. Props for the Mistral font.
 

#1 Human Centipede 2

I have no qualms with the following statement. Human Centipede is a far better movie that most give credit. If folks wonder off and find a creepy doctor in the woods, he better have something interesting to do to them. Now, I haven’t seen the sequel and if memory serves it was even banned in the UK until several alterations were made. This poster gets the message across with simple, soft photography and non-intrusive post work.  It looks like it belongs in a museum, and I’m sure that had the credits been removed it would be lauded in such a location.

Rules:

To qualify as one of the of the 11 worst movie posters of 2011, the corresponding film must have been released in 2011. This is an honor of measurable failure. Any independent film is disqualified; they don’t have the marketing budget needed to throughly ruin a poster. Another trend I despise is that of the character poster. This really kicked off when Hollywood decided to pillage comic books. Character posters don’t count as a movie poster; they are but one of many attempts at over branding. There may be a dozen posters promoting a film in a single country these days. Because it is now nearly impossible to identify the official poster for a given film, teaser posters will qualify. These are posters that attempt to build anticipation through minimalism and intrigue, though some attempts are better than others.

Feel free to click on the images to see larger versions. Warning, some are huge.

#11 Our Idiot Brother

Here is a prime example of over photoshopping. No natural, or artificial lighting is going to make Paul Rudd look like this. The meadow he’s apparently not laying in looks more like a soup. Notice how at his elbows he just sinks into the flowers.
 

#10 The Rum Diary

Johnny Depp is a hot commodity, but does he really look the part in this poster? Does this appeal toward his many female fans?
 

#9 The Devil’s Double

It is possible to have too much of a good thing. The excessive gold radiates opulence, but at a lack of credulity. It’s too hard to take such a far-fetched image seriously, and that doesn’t sit well with promoting an R-rated film.
 

#8 The Smurfs

I was never a huge Smurfs fan, so I don’t know much about them. That said, I doubt being stuck in a subway door best sums up their behavior. There is however a half-hearted clever idea found in this example. I couldn’t find confirmation, but I do believe that’s Katy Perry seen on the left. Having the voice talents get some face time on a poster is a novel thought, but if that is Katy where are the others?
 

#7 Fast Five

I like the appearance of the actors and the muted colors, but what are they standing on? It’s like there’s a cartoon pavement found in Rio de Janeiro. Are these clouds normal? Why are two Dodge Challengers shown when the cars are the stars of the series?
 

#6 Madea’s Big Happy Family

It’s appropriate for a comedy to parody the familiar. The audience for a Madea flick isn’t the same as the type that went to see Black Swan. It’s debatable if this effort resonated with Perry’s crowd, but it’s certainly an eyesore.
 

#5 Super 8

It’s out of the ordinary, and sideways into the boring. The true premise of Super 8 is to lift from every Steven Spielberg movie yet made. There would be more truth in advertising to rip-off the poster to Close Encounters of the Third Kind. If you turn this sideways and use your imagination, you can almost get that idea.
 

#4 The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

Any time characters address the camera, it should be in a natural and public state. Lisbeth Salander wears a lot of clothes, but here she’s looking at you with nothing on. This suggests she usually wears nothing in the company of strangers. Additionally Salander is being guarded by an incredibly ragged Blomkvist, as though she can’t fend for herself.
 

#3 Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2

It all ends with a pose-off.
 

#2 Bucky Larson: Born to be a Star

To their credit, there was a lot of time put into smoothing up Nick Swardson. By and large this is a textbook stupid comedy poster for what is surely a stupid movie.
 

#1 The Adventures of Tintin

This teaser is what I warned about. It’s so blatantly trying to conceal Tintin’s face that for no other apparent reason he has to be in a shadow. The teaser trailer did the same thing, as though it’s easier to sell The Adventures of Tintin if audiences can’t see the hideous characters.

Famed journalist Tintin purchases a fancy model ship, only to have it made the target of thieves. Our inquisitive reporter researches the history of the actual Unicorn and before long is hurdled into an journey full of daring thrills as he races to discover the family secrets of the ship’s captain.

Thank the gods of Hollywood that we’re able to jump into Tintin’s life without an origin story. The character dates back to comic strip print in the ‘20s. I can’t determine the popularity of the series in Europe, but the movie has been playing over there for over a month before this week’s American premiere. I’m familiar with the franchise due to successful cartoon that ran on Nickelodeon in the ‘90s.

Steven Spielberg is credited as the director while Peter Jackson is the top billed producer, two Oscar winners who haven’t had a critical hit in quite some time. Meanwhile Edgar Wright is listed among the writers, and you gotta be thinking that there’s a lot of chefs in the kitchen. The truth is The Adventures of Tintin hedges many bets.

The visuals are the most noteworthy element. Even in an era where 3D computer animated films are premiering weekly, this one stands out. Unlike the latest Pixar and DreamWorks releases, the goal is photorealism. Inanimate objects look spot on authentic. In one scene Tintin’s dog Snowy chases a cat through his apartment and a vase knocked over. The appearance of that vase and many other elements look like someone cheated and filmed the genuine article. Characters are adhere to the realism in terms of skin and hair, but their bulky noses and geometry are stylized like the cartoon. It’s an odd sight. I don’t believe in the “uncanny valley” concept as it preaches a fear toward the not-quite human, but it’s more accurate to say that an attempt at photorealism which comes up short is easier to scrutinize than the obviously artistically licensed.

The story doesn’t offer much in the way of twists, staying easy on youngsters, but Tintin gets the hint a little behind audience. This raises the question as to how others in this world aren’t star journalists. Also have to question what a street vendor was doing with this precious ship in the first place. What is important is the low violence, high excitement spectacle. A noteworthy chase has our hero practically decimate a third world city with no consequences to himself, hardly acceptable behavior when not ushered by a vote from Western nations.

The Adventures of Tintin is one part of a two film strategy—War Horse being the other—to ease director Steven Spielberg back into the lexicon. It’s a safe bet, a movie that doesn’t take risk. By not stretching for a bigger laugh or a more original story, The Adventures of Tintin can easily please the average crowd. ***

The Hollywood version of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo offers few surprises for the seasoned viewer of the 2009 Swedish original. Yes, it has come to the point that we can’t wait long enough to rip-off foreign markets. To its credit director David Fincher manages to inject the compelling mystery with his auteur pizzazz, though the Bond-esque ink laden title sequence may have been overkill.

Mikael Blomkvist (Daniel Craig) is a magazine editor on the verge of financial collapse after losing a libel trial. When an assignment appears before him to investigate a murder from 50 years ago, with an enticing offer of the dirt needed to clear his name, he takes it. With the help of an eccentric investigator by the name of Lisbeth (Rooney Mara), Mikael finds himself investigating not one murder but a series.

At some point studios are going to figure out that Daniel Craig is not the answer to their casting problems. Here, he’s too cool under pressure. I’m no magazine editor, but I don’t figure that they handle being kidnapped like James Bond would. He hardly seems bothered.

Rooney Mara mutilates her hair and body for this role, receiving more piercing than I’d care to describe. Her accent is highly authentic, more so than Craig’s to say the least. I’m not a fan of how she has decided to sell out her body for realism, but Mara does have the most genuine performance of the film.

Because of her unorthodox appearance, it can be troublesome for an audience to root for Lisbeth. To accomplish this she’s put into a compromising situation involving rape, to which end we can take joy in her revenge. It’s an effective tactic, but I question the nature in which she is exploited, making for a largely anti-male narrative. Not only that but The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2011) makes the same lazy circle as the 2009 film. Random acts of violence happen in the real world, but in a movie the unlikely is frowned upon. When a thief damages Lisbeth’s Macbook Pro, she has to see he newly appointed guardian, a sex maniac, and trade services for an allowance to have her computer replaced. So ultimately she ends up back where she started, she had a laptop, and now she has a laptop. This choice makes a nearly 3-hour movie. In fact an entire film goes by before Lisbeth and Mikael meet.

The discrepancies between this and the 2009 Swedish films are few until the mystery is solved. As the movie struggles to conclude we find a flashback that has been nixed, replaced by a brief aural tale. Fincher then moves to resolve everything presented in the first half, so Lisbeth becomes a busy girl following up with friends and doing favors.

I wasn’t crazy about the 2009 film, but I certainly respect it. I can’t find myself respecting a blatant cash-in regardless of its individual merits. **½